Me scrubbing my account clean and re-uploading has been like a yo-yo, I'm sorry. (This is like the fifth time in a row now)

Almost deleted all of my art backups once more but they still seemed to linger in another folder.

I've just been through a rough spot of questioning everything I make after the first time I've deleted my account all the way back in 2022 and throwing away my massive hoard of hand drawn comics, and scrapping all of my digital files and videos, that I've made my entire life.

Most of them were comics, they just featured silly jokes accompanied with toon violence. Quite frankly I had no story writing skills back then and all of them were completely improvised and lacking structure.

If I gained anything from all of those thousands of pages. It was characters development skills, and about 324 original characters, and world building skills.

I don't think every story I made is worth retelling to be honest. But I remember the basics of most of them as I have photographic memory or something. After I filled my trash bin with all of my work never to be seen again. And wiping my computer and Android Tablet.

Once I decided to give art another go in 2023 I remembered like 290 or so characters straight from memory.

I just thought everything I did was wrong after I heard a discouraging remark one day from someone I knew personally and I thought that my art was only making the world a worse place. I just kept on trying to reinvent myself over and over again. And make everything perfect.

But people really liked my work and they still do, I even have a bunch of fan art that I've collected over the years, if anything that's the reason why I've kept on coming back.

I thought I was being super selfish making art in general, and I thought that I was just trying to hide from the real world. But that wasn't really true; now that I look back at it, my art brought together a lot of people online and in the real world. And I didn't really ever want to do it for fame, I hardly have ever even displayed my persona or even listed my name in my own credits.

I'm not going to sugarcoat it, my life has been a traumatic ludicrous minefield full of sucker punches from left to right. Without art; I don't think I could have ever gotten through it all.

Not to sound over dramatic but I've had very few slivers of moments where I felt comfortable, free from bullies, or even at peace. And even when I did have them I was too exhausted to even appreciate them. I could go into detail, but it's an entire iceberg.

After questioning myself for three years straight I finally found an answer. Let's just say it was super blunt, and it was impossible to ignore. Now I finally have a reason to get out of this spiral and to get back to making art with no regrets or stepping on eggshells.

So it's time for me to get pixelizing again! Yahoozal!